More on MUMs

When I first thought of MUMs, it was meant to appeal two groups of mothers – mums who, like me, were in bereavement, and those who are living and caring for teens with cancer. After deeper thought, I decided that maybe the latter group would not be as open to the idea of such a support group because their child is still alive. Why would they want to see me or be part of the group? Especially in Malaysia, where such things are rife with taboos…

Today, I’m seeing things differently. I believe that these two groups can be integrated into one seamless body. After all, the primary target is mums, and the primary mission, to unite mums in a journey of hope and healing. And they don’t have to go on it alone. I figure, whether the child is still alive or not, that the point of the group is to support the mothers.

And there’s so much that can be done.

First off, mums in bereavement would have a loving space to share their pain, and know that they are not, and need not, be alone in their journey. Also, we could run or participate in workshops for bereavement management, acquiring skills to help us cope.

Mums who are living and caring for their terminally ill children can be supported by giving them time off to take little breaks for naps or a quick dash out to get stuff. We could even run short courses on how to care for our loved ones, both physically and mentally, in order to enjoy a better quality of life.

We could do camps for teens with cancer to meet with other such teens, allowing them to integrate with others who are going through the same journey. They could foster sharing, and bonding that is maybe rarely found in other groups. So they also know that they are not and need be alone in this.

We could encourage volunteerism amongst healthy teens to be with these special teens so that they may experience the values of giving and unconditional love, and the blessings of a healthy life. And we can create events, held outdoors in a park or open space, to make this happen.

I would also like to create a foundation which will be in the memory of my son, the JonGan Gift Legacy. The foundation is like a ‘Wish List’ from teens with cancer requesting for things to make their fragile lives more enjoyable. For example iPod Nano, latest Harry Porter book, toys, party, etc. We will not raise any monies to grant them their wishes rather we will route the list to invite charitable individuals or corporations to donate them. We will create a form for each request like biodata of the teen, supported with full address and contact numbers, and bits of information like hobbies, interests, etc. Each request will be authenticated by me or my representatives. I will also do this within the Klang Valley only to see how far I could go.

As this is a personal service, I am committed to make big or small requests happen. I believe God is on my side, and he will pave the way for this to happen.

I want to take small steps and even with small steps, I need help.

To raise awareness in the hope that mums would be open or ready to join me in forming a group, to help run this support group. Mums in beareavement. And mums who are living and caring for teens with cancer.

Only with enough mums from either groups could we implement steps that are empowering to both mums and teens living with cancer.

This would be my first task – to get mums to join me.

If you are a mum in this situation, or know someone who is, remember there is a place where you can come for support and encouragement, even as every day seems dire and empty.